I used to think that time moves in a snail pace until my waistbeads started falling off. Before I knew it you were kicking so hard and not long after that I heard your first cry.
How could thirty nine weeks go by so fast! It was just the other day that I first heard your heartbeat and it became real. “I’m gonna have a baby”, I mumbled to myself full of happiness and sadness. I was happy because ‘wow! I’m gonna be raising a whole human’ and sad because the old version of me was ending and I was entering a new phase of my life. I was mourning a young maiden and welcoming the mum version of me. It was overwhelming.
Then, hearing you cry confirmed it for me. The mourning period was over. Now we had to celebrate the coming forth of the mum. We have laughed alright! Through the sleepless night, painful walks and sits, and the long cries. I have enjoyed dressing you up and changing the poop diapers. And most of all, I treasured those moments after the vaccination clinics when all you needed was my comfort. I hugged you tight and still do whenever I can.
How is it almost four months since your first cry? Today you reached and touched my face as if saying, ‘I see you mum.” I teared a little. Time is flashing before my eyes as I watch you grow. Soon you’ll be eighteen and off to creating a life of your own.
So, I’m choosing a snail pace. To enjoy every single moment. To hold you in my arms as long as I can. To laugh with you when I’m still your favorite person. I will wipe your tears for as long as you want me to and stay up with you all night because you want to.
Welcome to this new version of me. This is motherhood! ♥️
